Anonymous said: Shut the fuck up about 50 shades of grey. No one fucking cares
let me just give you a quick run down of all the things wrong with this ask:
1-you assume i care what some asshole anon has to say when i have 300 pounds and i’m going kikass birthday shopping today
2-you assume id care about some asshole anon any other day of the year
3-i care about the 50 shades of grey thing. and whether you do or not is irrelevant to me because you are, after all, just an asshole anon
4- this is my blog and i’ll post whatever the fuck i want, if you cant take three fucking posts about something without turning into a soggy cum stained dishrag then i suggest you make use of that unfollow button because youre gross
5- lemme break this down for you
if you dont care about this 50 shades situation, you need to grow the fuck up and look at the facts
the fact is the book was so misinformed that all the practises about bdsm culture were ignored and shit all over.
he ignores the safeword
he legitimately rapes her
he never explains everything about bdsm culture to her, shes so misinformed its ridiculous
and all of this is going even more public than it already has and its being romanticised and released on valentines day
like “happy valentines honey! i bought some ropes i dont actually know how to tie and a whip i dont actually know how to use and i’m going to just gloss over the fact you’re uncomfortable because that clearly doesnt matter!”
incorrect use of a whip can cause organ failure
incorrect knots used on wristst or feet can literally cause them to need to be amputated
its perpetuating rape culture in ways ive never seen it be advanced to this leve; and if you dont care then youre truly disgusting
you dont care about the kids not fully understanding their sexuality being abused by older people who they think are totally allowed to do this shit?
you dont care about the people that will be raped because of this because hey apparently rape is sexy?
you dont care about the fact that the bdsm culture is, once again, being portrayed as people who are fucked up and must have been abused to be that way rather than normal people who enjoy a kink in their own homes?
you dont care about the fact that youre not supposed to bleed on your first time. ever. and now tons more girls are going to think that its completely normal? that tons more guys will? that tons of people are going to think its expected for the female to bleed when SHE WONT IF SHES BEEN SUFFICIENTLY TURNED ON AND STRETCHED ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD
you dont care about the stereotype of subs not actually enjoying bdsm culture is being widespread? that all subs dislike it and simply have an ulterior motive?
you dont care about the underlying message of the book being “a woman should give everything, including herself, to a man”?
you dont care about all the people in abusive relationships that will think “oh well this must be normal then” and stay there?
christian grey is a run-of-the-mill abusive boyfriend. he isnt a dom.
a dom loves his/her sub completely and the motto of bdsm is "safe, willing and sane" (or something like that anyone feel free to correct me)
it means that both partners have to be completely willing, with boundaries, safewords and everything worked out before they even think about touching eachother intimately.
if something is a boundary, you dont fucking do it
if the safeword is used it stops. everything stops
a dom should treat his sub like a goddamn princess (unless they have prearranged and understand that he wont eg-pet play, slave play where anything outside of the bedroom is also in the same dynamic HOWEVER IT IS STILL CONSENSUAL SO IT IS STILL OKAY)
a dom is not christian grey
but millions of people are going to think he is and are going to think that thats the way bdsm should be and they’ll get involved in something very dangerous if they dont have the real facts.
that people will think its romantic because this shit is scheduled for valentines day to treat your partner like shit, abuse her, and that what? getting them off absorbs you of all your shit? no. this is so fucking gross and im not taking a backseat when this shit happens
so in conclusion
literally fuck you, you insensitive fuck stain, this issue is so fucking important.
"I think a lot of people don’t understand that when we talk about these issues—blackface, rape jokes, the appropriation of marginalized cultures, and so on—we are having an ethical conversation, not a legal one. There is no thought police. No one’s coming to your house and carting you off to Insensitivity Prison. But you, as a person living on this planet, get to make a choice whether you want to hurt people or help people. Whether you want to listen or shut people out. I can’t imagine why you’d choose “defensive shithead” over “nice lady capable of empathy,” but okey dokey."
My mother once told me that trauma is like Lord of the Rings. You go through this crazy, life-altering thing that almost kills you (like say having to drop the one ring into Mount Doom), and that thing by definition cannot possibly be understood by someone who hasn’t gone through it. They can sympathize sure, but they’ll never really know, and more than likely they’ll expect you to move on from the thing fairly quickly. And they can’t be blamed, people are just like that, but that’s not how it works.
Some lucky people are like Sam. They can go straight home, get married, have a whole bunch of curly headed Hobbit babies and pick up their gardening right where they left off, content to forget the whole thing and live out their days in peace. Lots of people however, are like Frodo, and they don’t come home the same person they were when they left, and everything is more horrible and more hard then it ever was before. The old wounds sting and the ghost of the weight of the one ring still weighs heavy on their minds, and they don’t fit in at home anymore, so they get on boats go sailing away to the Undying West to look for the sort of peace that can only come from within. Frodos can’t cope, and most of us are Frodos when we start out.
But if we move past the urge to hide or lash out, my mother always told me, we can become Pippin and Merry. They never ignored what had happened to them, but they were malleable and receptive to change. They became civic leaders and great storytellers; they we able to turn all that fear and anger and grief into narratives that others could delight in and learn from, and they used the skills they had learned in battle to protect their homeland. They were fortified by what had happened to them, they wore it like armor and used it to their advantage.
It is our trauma that turns us into guardians, my mother told me, it is suffering that strengthens our skin and softens our hearts, and if we learn to live with the ghosts of what had been done to us, we just may be able to save others from the same fate."